My version of life

Okay, so I'm pretending to be creative, I guess. This is a blog about sex, poetry, art, and my life, and my version of all of the above. When my muse decends and grinds into my body, I feel the need to share.

Location: Washington, United States

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Thursday, March 17, 2005


So today is one of my favorite days of the year. I am half Irish. My mother was full Irish. She made this day extremely special for me.

Every year, since I can remember, my parents would have us make Leprechaun traps. I remember the most elaborate one that I made. It was a little bar, made out of a shoebox, complete with bartop, stools, even a beer tap. I had these mugs from my barbie collection that I filled with some of my dad's beer and I put them in the trap. When I would wake up, I would be covered in green glitter, which was, of course, the trail left by the Leprechaun. I had glitter in my eyes and in my hair and my ears and my nose, well, everywhere. I would wander out of my room and find, to my dismay, the trap was sprung, but I had nothing but chocolate gold coins and other assorted gold wrapped candy. I also would get underwear. Green underwear.

Anyway, I know it seems silly, but I LOVE today. Its awesome.

I have a party to go to tonight, too, which pleases me. This is the first time I have been able to orchestrate a successful bash. I plan on getting hammered in tribute to my Irish side! See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


I have come to realize that my sex drive, while high, is responding to my sin of sins.

I no longer am very easy to arouse when it comes to Chris. I believe it is because with Paul, I walk in the door and he is quick to touch me, to physically acknowledge me. This is something I tend to favor; physical acknowledgement, that is.

Chris is usually sitting in his chair, waiting for me to walk in the door, curled up in his blanket and watching a movie. I kiss him hello, trying to prolong the kiss to get some sort of masculine reaction.


Within ten minutes of me being in the door, he says, "Can we go to bed now?" and I sigh. We go upstairs, I wash my face, take my pill, brush my teeth and turn around to see him in bed, covered up and facing the wall. I climb into bed and he rolls over and wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him. He usually will bury his face in my hair and fall asleep.

There is something to be said for the comfort that we find in each other.
I do notice that Chris gives me physical acknowledgement as well, but I might as well be a stuffed animal for the good it does me.

Chris is short with foreplay. The goal is not to please me, but to get me wet enough for penetration. I have spoken with him about this, and since I have been with Paul, who is the God of Foreplay, it is very difficult for Chris to get me wet with the minimalist touching and such that he does.

Sleeping with Paul has taught me many things about myself. I know more of what my body likes, what it doesn't care for and what it can do when persuaded properly.

I am trying to teach my body to Chris again. We are in that comfort zone that couples get into. We have sex quite a bit still, but there is little passion in it. I want that passion back. I want him to tie me to the staircase and ravage me like he once did. Or just greet me when I walk in the door. That would be nice.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Good things come to those who wait.

I will be posting later on today. Sorry for the delay.

Thursday, March 10, 2005


I'm not feeling particularly creative right now. Just checking in.
How are you doing? Is life going well? I hope so. Let me know.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Small rant

Quick note, Thank you to Celia for her help regarding formatting. I've been fighting with that code. That just may work. I'll be attempting it tomorrow morning. We'll see what happens.

My house is a mess. Chris does not see that it is necessary that he do some of the chores. I get home very late and he is asleep. I cannot do dishes without waking him up, but he refuses to wash any of them. I am at my wits end. He doesnt fold clothes, he doesn't clean the bathroom, he doesn't do anything. I'm starting to resent it. I'm leaving little notes around the house. I think this is crossing over the insane line for me.

Chris blames it on being distracted by the stress of his car. I'll give you a quick rundown. He's been getting his car race ready for a while. He's been scraping and saving for everything he does to it. Not too long ago, he was driving to work and hit some black ice and totalled the car. Now his baby is dead. He was able to get a car body for about $1500.00 and is doing the motor swap right now. He's trying to get the new car road worthy before April 1st when he's supposed to take it down to California and run some races with his cousin. So he's freaking out because he only has 3 weeks to get it done. In the midst of all this are little stressors making time and money scarce.
Stressor 1: Best friend went with him to pick up new car. Best Friend was supposed to check trailer hitch. Best Friend did not, but said it was good anyway. Chris then drove forward and the trailer detached from the truck and proceeded to rip a hole in some guy's car. Chris now has to pay for Best Friend's fuck up because he is liable. Chris will most likely have to pay out of pocket for repairs.
Stressor 2: Got ticket for "speed too fast for conditions" when he contacted the police when he totalled his car. Mitigated hearing is on same day as a contested hearing for another ticket he got and the local judge is kindof a bitch.
Stressor 3: Bank will not give him a loan to work on his car because debt to income ratio is too high now that we bought the house. Family will not cosign for a loan as they think it is a want instead of a need. (It is and isnt. This is Chris' outlet. His car makes him feel good about himself.)
Stressor 4: Our neighbor is crazy and keeps harrasing us about our dogs. This is pissing both of us off.

So, while I understand that he is very very stressed out, how freakin' hard is it to fold clothes while you're watching TV????????? End rant.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Weekend Diversions

So this weekend I went to see a play, which was fantastic. I spent the day walking the city with my best friend and I let her know of my life's recent developments. It was a lovely day, that we topped off with a Morrocan Restauraunt and live bellydancing with my dance troupe. I had a lot of fun.

This weekend also brought about the discovery that I am healed! YAY! I can have good sex again. Chris and I enjoyed ourselves, however gently we went about it.

Either way, it was a great weekend. I gave myself a facial and then painted my nails. We had a small barbeque with our friends and life was peachy.

So here is to my weekend!
Thank you for being lovely!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Damned Newfangled Contraptions

Okay. So I have been reasearching and examining and searching all over the place on how to post links on the side of my blog so I can share some of my favorite sites with you. This is not happening because I apparently am not smart enough to figure it out. If any of you out there know how to do so, please explain it to me, because I am at a loss.
I have no freakin' idea.
I'm going to bed now.

Birthday Presents

I walk in the door and take off my shoes and socks. We exchange pleasantries, and he hands me a piece of paper. He's clean. Doctor says so. His cholesterol is very high, but that is not what I'm concerned about.

I pull him to the living room, kissing him the whole way. I remove his shirt, then his pants and tell him to lay down. What I have planned is easier if he's laying down. I pull of my shirt and gym pants, revealing a black lace teddy. He murmurs his approval. Straddling his body, I kiss his neck lightly, smiling as he moans and pushes his body against me. I kiss my way down his chest and nibble on his inner thighs. He moans and spreads his legs a little. I dip my head down and press my tongue against his perenium and move up, licking his testicles softly. I pull one into my mouth and I hear "Oh, God..." come from above me. As I pull my hair out of the way, I make eye contact with him. He looks down at me and then rolls his head back repeating himself. I smile.

He told me that while he had had a woman suck his cock before, he had never had one pay attention to his testicles or perenium. I told him he had never had a true blow job then. He had been eager for this but didn't think I could make him cum.

Now he lay below me, his hands gripping my wrists, my hair, whatever they could get a hold of. His breath started to change, speeding up.
He was chanting now... "Oh, God. Oh my God."
I licked along his tip, the little lips that he has, and started to suck him, wrapping my hand around the part of his cock that wasn't in my mouth. His hips pressed up into me and his grip got tighter as I heard from him,
"Yes. Oh. I'm going to cum."
I smiled and pulled away, moving down to suck his balls, taking one at a time into my mouth. He looked down at me watching him as I sucked happily on his testicles and pulled me up his body.
"I want to fuck you. You almost made me cum, but you stopped right when I was on the edge. I'm going to fuck you."

I smiled and complied when he told me to lay down. He pulled the crotch of the teddy out of the way and pushed himself into me. My body sighed a little. I had been waiting for this, for him to be in me. I wrapped my legs around him as he pounded furiously at me.

I cried for him to cum in me, I wanted to have him cum in me, to collapse on me, exhausted, sated. He finally pressed himself into me and shuddered slightly. I wrapped my legs and arms around him and smiled up at him.
"Happy Birthday."

He laughed and kissed me.
"Thank you."

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Dirty things

So today, I am absolutely completely immersed in the gutter. Everything that I hear, I mentally spin so it sounds dirty.

All I can think about is sex. This possibly is because on Thurday, I will get to suck Paul's cock for the first time. Why is this? Because on Thursday, I will finally have a piece of paper telling me that it is clean. I can NOT wait. I am so excited. He has never, ever orgasmed from a woman's mouth and hands only. It has always been in addition to other sexual acts. I cannot wait. I would very much like to be the cause of this pleasure for him. I am planning on throwing him against the wall and going to my knees right there. I dont care if the door is open or closed. I am going to lick him like a lollipop and then suck him dry.

I am looking forward to this.

Very Much.

Monday, February 28, 2005

My communion

I need to explain something.
I have only ever been with one man. Chris is that man and he's fantastic. We have had sex in amazing places and have been known to spend a weekend chasing each other around the house and molesting each other. So, Paul is new to me. He's a new experience. He touches me in a different way than Chris does. Can I just say WOW. Am I enjoying myself. If only I could get the two in one room.

Sex is about the two people involved and not just their genitalia pounding hungrily at each other. Its about experiencing the other person. I love every bit of sex, because I get to glory in another person's body. I'm not great with words and so when I can show my adoration with my touch, I do so wholeheartedly. Sex is a type of worship for me. I put faith in it. The male body mystifies me. I love to explore his body and find his ticklish spots, the freckles, the soft, fuzzy spots. I love the feel of skin underneath my hand. I love the way it feels to lick a nipple and have it stand at attention, creating that little tiny button for me to play with. When Chris is asleep and not hard, I love to climb under the covers and suck on him while he's small enough for me to fit all of him in my mouth. It doesn't last long, but the skin is so soft and so tender. The sensation of him growing larger in my mouth is fantastic. I adore testicles. They're like velvet and just so sensitive. The way the skin around them contracts and relaxes so easily and it seems as if they were made to fit into my hand perfectly, and into my mouth.

This is the way I feel about the body. I could wax poetic about every little bit of a man that I adore, but that would be a LOOOONG post. The point of this I suppose, is that Sex is Worship for me. I can see the glory of creation in the person in front of me. I was raised Catholic and lost faith in organized religion a long time ago. So give me sins of the flesh please. Give me sweat and semen and my nails dragging along his back or ass. Give me abandon and adoration. Give me this body to nibble, and this saliva to mix in mine. This is my communion. Sex is Passion and Glory. This is my faith.